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Subtitle on screen: Bambi, abducted by her love seat. Bambi is on the edge of breaking down.
Bambi
I was at home all alone, watching a horror movie, when suddenly it just pulled me down. It was . . . (begins to lose it)
Cut to host in audience.
Host
It's OK. Take your time. We all support you. (hitting on member of the audience)
Cut back to Bambi.
Bambi
It was terrible! (breaks into tears)
Cut to host w/ audience.
Host
A question . . .
Audience Member
Was the love seat from Bruce's Easy Rent? (mummers of crowd approval and curiosity)
Back to Bambi.
Bambi
No!!!!! (cries)
Cut to representative A. Subtitle: Rents bad furniture at high prices.
Host
We have a representative of the store that rented the love seat to Bambi.
Representative A
So what, we got paid.
Audience reacts negatively. Cut to Bruce's Easy Rent representative.
Host
And now, a spokesman for Bruce's Easy Rent.
Representative B
If you feel a love seat from Bruce's is beginning to act deviently, you can bring it back to us anytime. We rent, not rent to own, there are no long term obligations.