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The Cynical Libertarian Society
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The Cynical Libertarian Society
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First off, we have the obligatory piss in the bottle test. This has pretty much become common place & doesn't really mean much as numerous people working here have spoken of recent drug use. Is it really the business of the people I work for what is in my urine? Especially when you consider that, contrary to what you have been told, the piss test isn't always accurate. False positives do occur. But this tirade isn't about that subject. Others have attacked the piss test far better than I can. Further, since I don't do drugs, I really don't care if they test me or not. If I got a false positive, I'm not sure I could even bring myself to care . . .
Here's what requires such enormous self control. First off, I get to sign the "Applicant's Statement". In this statement I agree that:
1. My employment is "at will". Actually this is fine by me, but have you noticed the convulsions companies have when you quit? Further, the company has no obligation to keep you on, no contract to pay you anything, yet they expect total loyalty from you. Think about it.
2. The information I have provided is "without consequential omission of any kind whatsoever". Gosh, that is a pretty broad statement.
3. I have to authorize anyone / everyone on my application to give any information about me "whether or not it is in their records". I am also suppose to release said person / institutions from "all liability for any damage for issuing this information". This part of the statement I crossed out.
4. I have to "certify that all the statements and answers to the above questions were made by me and are true without any reservations or evasions". Note this, not only must I not lie or evade, but I must provide all this information with out reservation. I must be happy, joyful in fact, to provide personal information to people who have no business delving into my life. I must be enthusiastic about total strangers prying into my personal business while I have no expectations of becoming privy to equal degrees of prying into their business and lives. I must puke, be right back . . .
Ok, I'm back. Had to leave my lunch in the toilet. As if this were not enough there is a form from Avert. A company whose purpose is to investigate potential employees - and probably current employees. On this piece of paper I sign over to Avert the rights to investigate public and private sources in regard to my character, work habits, performance, experience, reasons for termination of past employment, workers' compensation injuries, driving record, court record, education, credentials, credit and references. Again, who are these people that they believe they are entitled to this information? By what "right" (I use the word figuratively) do they believe I want total strangers examining my life in detail, strangers to which I do not receive access to equivalent data?
Part two of this story, and I'm going to keep this short. At my other job, the part time job, which I like. I "questioned" a manager in front of two customers (this is a restaurant job I should mention) when I noticed a double standard in action. The manager didn't really seem to mind too much, he's a generally easy going guy. The bartender, a generally intelligent young lady of 22 years, to whom I normally attribute common sense, made to me the following statement. "You should never question a manager in front of customers" in a tone implying this was perhaps my first day as a part of the work force. I had to pause & think on this. Here we have a member of "Generation X" (excuse me while I heave again . . .). These "youngsters" are attempting to pass themselves off as revolutionaries, deep thinkers, ground breakers, path makers. Some of them have actually confessed that they really do believe they are "Generation NeXt" as pushed by Pepsi commercials. Actual pride in a label placed on them by a multi-billion dollar international corporation. If I hear the word "extreme" one more time I'm going to go on an extreme postal spree. Here I was, face to face with the future, and the future is just as dumb as the past.
We trade one form of slavery for another. As work demands more and more from us, we give more and more. Mandatory overtime, we show up without question. Sign this paper, we sign - usually without even reading it. Do not question authority no matter the circumstances. We obey as best we can in our semi-conscious state. Do we really want to be a nation of sheep? Do we really want our friends and family to be sheep? Do we want coworkers who are sheep? Do companies want employees who are sheep? I believe the answers are yes, yes, no one cares and a definitive yes.
How did we get here? I don't know anything for certain, but I have my theories.
First off, we have become a materialism bases society. Intellectual freedom is not as important as cable TV or flashy new cars. Things have become so important to us, that thoughts are not as important, and if we have to trade our time, integrity and privacy in order to get more things, it appears most of us are willing to make that trade. Is two weeks of paid vacation a year really worth that?
Second, as our life becomes more object based, we have less and less of ourselves to give. People actually allow their job to become the definition of their person. Ask anyone "what do you do?" or "who are you?". They will usually respond by giving you their job title. When you meet someone for the first time, how long does it usually take for them to ask "where do you work?" How much will we allow our job to define our existence. How much, for that matter will we allow our job to become our existence.
People have actually told me that there have been times when they had "nothing to do". "I'm bored, I don't have anything to do." I can not even image having nothing to do. I write, read, photograph, think, play, act, yoga, bike, run, sleep, clean, eat, girl watch, flirt, hang out, even "veg". There are endless verbs to which one can devote time and effort. To have nothing to do? How empty is this life? Do these people realize that they are consuming resources which could be used by people with a reason to live? How can you be so unable to give anything or create anything or even respond to anything that you have nothing to do? How did they get here? My suspicion is that they have devoted so much of their physical & mental energy to their job, they have become so use to working for a "greater purpose" (like a hive of insects, or the Borg) that when they are left on their own they become incapable of functioning. When given the task of selecting their own objective and pursuing it, they fall flat.
Having a job is like taking a shit, you need to physically do it, it's a required action in order to remain socially acceptable (we could discuss the merits of that, but at some later time) but it's not something you want to revolve your life around.
So, at this point we have a society of people who have placed ideas second to objects and have no desire to expand, learn or create. So, we throw them into the modern workplace. Lesson number one. Don't make waves. Don't question orders. Don't make your superiors look bad. Ever. There is something wrong with this, and it's going to take some time for me to get there, so hang on.
We don't grow and learn from things which are easy. Look at people who have it "easy". A classic example that I have seen in action. A guy works his ass off to create a business from the ground up, and it becomes successful. Then he hands it over to his son who promptly runs it into the ground. I actually worked at a company just like that. Or, the guy who built the company from ground up dies and the stockholders sell the company to the competition for a quick buck. I also worked for that company. In each case, those who had it easy have no clue regarding the value of what they have. They learned nothing in the process of getting what they had as they got it when someone else said "here, this is yours". Struggle and failure are how we learn what works & what doesn't, how we learn what something is worth. For example, in my case: I am getting paid X amount of money, for X money I will put up with Y amount of bullshit. When the bullshit level goes over Y, either X increases or my ass walks.
Now, managers need to be capable of thinking. After all, the concept here is that they are leaders, the brains of the outfit. The generals, and we their mindless minions. We all know managers love yes men. I can see why, makes the day so easy. I think management needs some stress now and then. I think they need to be put on the spot sometimes. Quite honestly, they need to have the shit scared out of them so they can learn. Do not think I speak from a vacuum here. I once participated in the ownership / operation of a jazz club / deli / coffee house and I got the shit scared out of me plenty of times, but I learned from it.
My young bartender friend didn't think it was right of me to question management in front of the customers. I ask, why not question the policy when there is an obvious case of double standards in front of us? Why am I asking too much for management to justify their actions, especially since at every job in the world you hear the lie about "the customer comes first". Pardon me while I toss my cookies again . . . If management doesn't have a good answer then maybe they should reconsider the policy. If the policy can not be stated to the customer perhaps this indicated there is a problem with the policy. If a business can not be completely open about what goes on, there must be a reason. I don't know about you, but if I tell fibs about my actions, intents or policies, it's usually because I know they are wrong or at least "unfair" (I don't believe in "fair" so I use this term loosely, but that's another column). I believe we can draw the same conclusion about companies and managers.
I must take a moment to also make this point. Management usually gets pretty complacent if left alone too long. One thing I have learned at various jobs: If you go to your supervisor and point out a problem, unless the supervisor is directly affected, odds are slim that they are going to do anything about it. Likewise, if you make a suggestion, unless they can take credit for it or it makes their job easier, you don't have reason to expect much action. However, take this same problem and point it out in front of a customer, or you bosses boss, and suddenly you will get action. Why? Simple. Management types are full of self importance. When you make them look stupid in front of people they care about they will take action to fix it. Try it. Next time you have a problem at work, or better yet, that problem you have been bitching about for the last year, use it to make your boss look like an idiot in front of someone important. There will be action.
Now, I will grant you, this action could be having your little ass fired, but that's fine as it brings us to the next point.
Why are you afraid of this? Getting fired. So far as I can tell people who are afraid to get fired are such for one of three reasons:
They are too stupid, incompetent or unskilled to get another job. If you are unskilled you can fix that. The other two no one can help you with. Sorry. At least you know it and behave accordingly.
Or, they believe they can not get another job, when in fact they have the skills and smarts to go someplace else, they simply don't know how to get there from here.
Finally, they have been at a job so long they have acquired a certain standard of living. Not only financially, but established a routine - nay, a whole life around this job, and if they had to alter that the shock would be too much. Essentially, they are afraid of change.
I hear you talking: "Yea Skippy, that's fine for Java programmers and CEOs, people who have money and important talents, but I'm just a peon, I'm a nobody, all I do is flip burgers, or deliver pizza, or sell clothes." Yes, and this is just the attitude that keeps us down (and I mean us, as I am a peon myself). No one expects a waitress to walk, and that's exactly how they are treated. Companies look at low skill jobs and say to themselves "hey, we can pay anyone to do this job, so we can keep the pay low and treat the people like shit, and they will be to scared to do anything about it, after all, if they took this job they must be desperate for work and we can hold that desperation over them." So that is exactly what they get. They give you a 25 cent a year raise and tell you what a big favor they have done you, and you take it - because you are desperate and they know it. You hand the enemy the weapon with which they strike you dead.
One of my favorite lines is "you know, there are other people who want your job". I've had that line pulled on me twice. Both times I walked. This is how we fight it people. We call their bluff. Sooner or later you have to get tired of being shit on. Sooner or later you have to stand up for yourself. I can't do this alone, but if we all work together. Say a restaurant has 40 employees. If one or two of them say "we will walk if ______" it really doesn't mean anything, but imagine a work force in which people do walk when it becomes time. This implied threat would carry more weight. Just as we know that if we tick off management we will be out of a job, so will management realize that if they tick us off they will be out of an employee. Believe me, they need us more than we need them. We simply need to start living that way. Let me take a moment to say this is not in any way an endorsement of unions. Unions suck. I've been there & I have no desire to go back. Unions are the communist solution to the problem, I am interested in the capitalist / libertarian solution.
So how does this work in real life you wonder? I know it looks good on paper, but it's possible. Here's how.
Let's talk regarding the "peon population", hereafter known as PP (which is what they do on us). First lets establish a few things we all know. No one other than the PP is going to do the jobs we are currently doing. If you are a janitor, imagine your bosses boss doing you job. I'll wait for you to quit laughing before I go on . . . Ok, now that you caught your breath, see what I mean. They can't do our jobs, their image and sense of self worth will not allow it. So, 10% of the PP walks out on their jobs. Skippy, you say, that 10% will all be unemployed. Wron-go bon-go. What will happen is there will be a brief period of unemployment & job searching. At the end of this what will have happened is for all practical purposes the people in that 10% will swap jobs. The people we walked on are going to have to replace us with someone. Little will they know they are getting someone else with a spine, not a wimp such as they are use to.
In these new circumstances we need only recruit one or two mores to out state of mind, and when the bullshit gets deep, walk on this job. As the attitude of "I don't have to take this shit" spreads companies and managers will slowly (very slowly) realize that they:
1. Can't live without us.
2. Have to treat us better, or they will be living without us.
Don't fall into the "I'm only a janitor" trap. On a day off take yourself downtown, or to the business district or where the heck ever there is a bunch of money being made. Now take a look at all of those buildings. None of them, I mean none of them, would last two days without a janitor. You have power, you have to know how to use it, when to use it, and not to be afraid.
Real example from the life of Skippy. The last job I had, Colin & I were doing a ton of work. Colin doing more than I granted, but still, if he had to do my work and his work it would have killed him. We always said that if one of us quit or was fired the other was also going. I was serious, he wasn't. That was his first mistake. When I walked he should have either walked with me, or went into the office and laid down his list of demands, to be granted in written contract form. When I left he had all the power in the world - because he was doing a job no one else wanted to do. Colin however, has attained a lifestyle which he didn't want to give up.
I can understand this. I once had a lifestyle. It was fun, but I do believe I sold too much of my soul. Luckily I realized what was happening. I'm not sure how much soul I have left, but I hope I salvaged some of it.
So, what is the moral of all this?
1. Grab your spine, they need you, they just don't want you to know it.
2. Question the stupidity. Don't let them get away with double standards.
3. Stop giving in to the request for personal information and impositions on your life and time. No over time, get yourself a life.
4. If they piss on you, don't convince yourself it's raining, walk. Take the time now to start learning a new skill you can use else where. Always look for job options and interview all the time. Best of all, work on being your own boss. Then one day you too can be an elitist snob who treats others like shit. Better yet, you can buy the people you use to work for and treat them like shit.