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by Pete Whalon
1. Independence: Dogs have none. They must be leashed and accompanied by their owners whenever they leave the house. I think this is a control issue with male dog owners, a sure sign of immaturity. Cats are free to come and go as they please, trusted by their owners to exhibit proper behavior and return home without the need of constant supervision. It takes a well-adjusted adult to allow this unrestricted freedom.
2. Self Sufficiency: When a dog, on a supervise walk, decides it's time to relieve himself, the owner is bound by law to scoop up the results. Now, I don't know about you, but this doesn't strike me as a sign of machismo. Of course, dog owners have options; them can let the canine do his business in the back yard. The, Mr. Macho will not have to pick up a pile of processed food immediately. Flies anyone? Ever step in a pile of cat stuff? That's because they bury it in out-of-the-way places. Nice and neat. Bad weather? Cats will use a cat box. Dogs, well you figure it out.
3. Manners: Have you ever fed a dog? They have no control. They will eat everything you put in front of them. Give them too much food and they will gobble it up, get sick, then come back for more. Once again, you must control the mutt for his own good. The mess left behind by a hungry pooch looks like a college dorm after a food fight. Hey, look at the tough guy wiping kibble off his kitchen wall. Cats: Neat, clean, controlled. They'll be back for more when they are hungry. You must be very stable to own a cat.
4. Cleanliness: How often do you wash your cat? How often does your cat stink? Cats wash themselves. What a great idea! What's the matter macho man; got a little doggie soap in your eye?
5. Destructive Behavior: Visit the back yard of a person with a large dog. It looks like a war zone - holes everywhere, flowers destroyed, dead grass, mangled toys, and soiled patio furniture. When was the last time you were kept awake all night by a meowing cat? Behavioral problems are a given for dog owners. They do offer help for this problem. It's called dog obedience class. Guess what? There is no such thing as cat obedience class. I wonder why . . .