It has come to our attention that some of you are using the terms "GEEK" and "NERD" interchangeably. There are some critical differences, worthy of respectin such an august forum,home to both:
1. Both geeks and nerds love pocketliners. Geeks however use monogrammed pocketliners, nerds will use whatever they can scarf up at trade shows.
2. Both pick their noses. Both wipe what they don't eat on the bottom of the desktop or pants. Geeks wipe what they don't eat on someone else's desktop or pants.
3. Geeks laugh funny in public. Nerds are invisible in public.
4. Geeks wear duck-taped glasses. Nerds duck-tape their keyboards and mouse.
5. Geeks are forced to bathe. Nerds bathe often with their duck-taped ducky.
6. Geeks often lock themselves inside their cars. Nerds have spare car keys taped to their ankles and buttocks.
7. Geeks bite off the heads of chickens. Nerds use nail scissors to open the plastic wrapper on new software disks.
8. Geeks clean the static dust off their monitors with a wet finger. Nerds use their socks.
9. Geeks send women or men who wouldn't give them the time of day expensive floral arrangements and candy. Nerds send these men or women cards picturing expensive floral arrangements or candy.
10 Geeks at a party will say to everyone, " Holey-moley!, I am so drunk and about to throwup!" and then do it on the coffee table. Nerds get drunk, and hoping they are still invisible, will throwup in the host's bedroom closet.
11. Geeks have no problem telling people they "stink." Nerds burn e-mail from people they hate.
12. Geeks' pants are always 2 inches too short or their pantyhose are full of runs. Nerds carry a spare change of underwear in their backpacks.
13. Geeks dream of getting rich and marrying a sex symbol. Nerds use shareware CAD software, without paying, and plot the perfect buttocks.
14. Geeks don't chew their food properly. Nerds don't buy their own food.
15. Geeks think they look good in pictures. Nerds scan models' pictures from magazines and use them in on-line personal ads.