Relapse

It's gonna be a long night,
Miles to go,
There's lots of coffee to drink,
And no chance of snow.
Cigarette smoke fills the air.
I'm wondering just why I care
For you where you will not be there,
And I feel so alone

It's a dark night,
So very cold.
I feel so young,
But I've grown so old.
How can I fight my feelings for you?
What the hell am I gonna do
When I face the fact I have no clue?
Still I feel so alone.

It's an empty night,
Which I can't fill.
My heart is racing,
My mind wont still.
So I light another cigarette,
Have I hit rock bottom yet,
Speeding like a red corvette.
But I speed alone.
I want to see you everyday,
I want you to go away.
My thoughts of you are like some trick.
My love for you it makes me sick.
I'm wishing that you were mine
Hating you at the very same time.
No ideas who I am
Or what I'm for,
What room I'm in,
How to find the door.