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"It's only words. Unless they're true." -- David Mamet
"There are no stupid questions. Only stupid people."
"I hate "nice" people. The road to hell was paved with good intentions, and you know who ran the asphalting equipment? Nice people, that's who."
"I assume people are stupid until they give evidence of intelligence. This is why my first impressions are right 85% of the time."
"You went to public school didn't you?"
"I'd love to help you, but I have less important things to be doing."
"Of course, let me drop everything I'm doing and make your problem my priority."
"He is so dense he can bend light."
"There is only one reason why Washington D.C. hasn't been leveled by a nuclear device during the State of the Union Address. I don't have a nuclear device."
"If knowledge is power and ignorance is bliss, I'll take bliss over power any day."
"Understanding men and women is easy if you know the secret. It's very simple, six little words: Men are stupid, women are whores."
"Understanding the two party system is easy if you know the secret. It's very simple, six little words: Democrats are evil, Republicans are stupid."
"My mother did not have sex with my father, carry me in her womb for 9 months, go thru labor and then spend 18 years raising my ass (to include toilet training) so that I could listen to your stupid ass whine like a baby. Please fuck the hell off."
"You can judge a man by his friends, but you can judge him better by his enemies."
"They say knowledge is power, and ignorance is bliss. Well, I'll take bliss over power any day."
"Guns don't kill people. I kill people. Especially people who think guns kill people."
"I'm not against freedom of speech, but it has a downside. The ability to criticize the actions of the government distracts people from the fact that they can not control the actions of the government."
"Curiosity may have killed the cat, but at least he died know what was going on."
"I'm not outnumbered, I just have more targets."
"Before you take someone's advice, ask yourself if you would take their life."
"You can judge a man by his friends, but you can judge him better by his enemies. If they are powerful he is powerful. If he has no enemies he is nothing."
"If you insist on 'fairness' before you do anything you will never do anything."
"Always appear totally confident. Never be totally confident."
"There is a difference between having an open mind and being gullible."
"If you say I'm stupid then it must be true. I can see that you are an authority on stupid."
"Reality TV? Turn the TV off and go the fuck outside."
"Those who can -- do. Those who can't -- teach. Those too stupid to teach become critics or journalists."
"If you let the enemy live you have to live with the enemy."
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