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The stage is dark, center stage is a fruit crate turned on its side to act as a table. A chess board sits on it, pieces ready to begin a game. On each side of the board sits a youth, one dressed totally in black, the other in white - gender is unimportant. Their chess pieces are the opposing color of their clothing. At their feet is a large collection of thick books. A single tightly focused while light fades up to illuminate them.
Around the youths are TV cameras on stands. Standing up stage of them, watching intently, is a figure in a black hooded robe, the Watcher. The Watcher and the cameras should not be visible at the beginning of the scene. As the scene progresses, lights should be slowly rising to reveal the Watcher and the cameras.
Black and white should each move, capture, take or replace a chess piece as indicated by the dialog. If no indication is made, a move should be made as seems natural.
black: White always moves first.
white: Yes, but on Blacks back, and thus black moves farther in response.
black: As usual, White always seems to sacrifice for Black, but counters the move anyhow.
white: As usual! White doesn't sacrifice anything, Black struggles for every achievement, trailing blood, sweat and tears.
black: Blood! Where? When?
white: There! (Points to chess board.)
black: That's not blood. It's cranberry juice from last week.
white: Oh.
black: White takes Black. You come along and expect all the rules to change for you. A typical male attitude.
white: Really? I think that expecting rules to change is much more the female attitude, with your equal rights self. White clouds the issue, Black returns to the board, moves, and takes White.
black: White clouds issues? I think not! You can't return captured pieces to the game. It's against the rules.
white: Not so, look. (Pulls a book from the volumes at their feet, pages through, and presents a passage to black.) There it is.
black: I don't recall this rule.
white: It's a new one.
black: New book?
white: New rule. Old book.
black: New rule, old book. Same book, new rule.
white: You got it.
black: Amazing how that happens.
white: White is holding up the game. Black takes White.
black: Always taking, always taking. You never give. Must be the male in you. Fortunately the female is nurturing and capable of reproduction, so I can replace my piece at will. (Replaces the chess piece.)
white: Yes, but only with the help of the male, and I don't copulate! (Removes piece.)
black: Artificial insemination! (Replaces piece.)
white: I didn't donate! (Removes piece.)
black: Some males are more in touch with their feminine side. They donated! (Replaces piece.)
white: Abortion! (Throws the piece across the stage.)
black: Sexual harassment. White takes black.
white: Slander. Black takes white.
black: Sexual animals. Black males. Rapist and killers. White takes black and replaces a white piece.
white: Racial stereotype. Mythological bull ca-ca. Black takes white and replaces a black piece. In addition, affirmative action laws stipulate that there must be 1.2 black playing pieces for each white playing piece. Let's see . . . (Begins to inventory the game pieces.)
black: Where did this come from?
black & white: The book!
black: Well it wasn't there yesterday. (Looks through one of the books.)
white: It's there now. (Adjusting the game pieces.) OK, you are within the limits. You may make your move.
black: Thank you. You found nothing wrong?
white: No.
black: Did you expect to? You don't trust me?
white: Well. . . Yes, I do. I do trust you, you're my friend after all.
black: Thank you, friend.
white: You're welcome friend.
They make a few moves and captures without speaking. The Watcher removes a vile of red liquid from his robes. Holds it up to the light to examine it, opens the vile, and splashes the liquid across the chess board.
white: My God! O.J. Simpson! Black takes white.
black: Innocent!
white: Guilty!
black: On what grounds?
white: The man flies through airports, he's not normal. Psycho for sure.
black: He's a hero. A great American. He's been framed. Can't you see that? White takes black.
white: A hero? For what? Flying through airports? Running up and down a field with a football? Get serious. He's a threat to society. Black takes white.
black: He's a hero for rising above the forces that sought to keep him down. And where do you get this "threat to society" garbage from? He's no such thing. White takes black.
white: Is so, I saw it on TV. It must be true. Black . . . oh darn, you saw that coming did you?
black: But of course.
white: Well, they say great minds think alike, right friend?
black: So true my friend.
They make a few moves and captures without speaking. After a bit, the Watcher produces a large syringe with which he begins to alternatively poke at White and Black until Black begins to speak.
black: So, who is going to clean up this mess?
white: Well, you clean up your half of the board, I'll clean up mine.
black: That's not fair.
white: Why not?
black: I shouldn't half to clean up all this blood, not to mention cranberry juice, by myself. I have a constitutional right to a clean chess board. The government should be protecting my rights. We should have a National Clean Chess Board system, like Canada.
white: Oh please . . .
black: Matter of fact, do you realize that we are the only country is the civilized world that doesn't provide clean chess boards for its citizens. That should tell you something about our priorities.
white: True, but look how long people have to wait to get their chess boards cleaned in Canada and Europe. Over here it may cost more, but when's the last time you saw a dirty chess board?
black: We're looking at it. White takes black.
white: I mean other than this one. Do you ever see anyone sneaking into Canada with a dirty chess board. No. But you sure see lots of Canadians coming here with their chess boards. Bits of chocolate and coffee stains all over 'em. And when they go home, those boards are nice and clean. Check.
black: Yes, but they are paying too much.
white: Supply and demand, that's how it works. Check, again.
black: And the chess board cleaners and towel companies are getting rich by taking advantage of dirty chess board owners. Take that.
white: I will, checkmate.
black: Can't be . . .
Down stage left, a circle of white light comes up. It begins to change colors. White and Black turn their attention to the light. An off stage voice announces "And now, the 5 o'clock news with Johnny My-Opinion-Is-Fact."
Johnny: Good evening, I'm Johnny My-Opinion-Is-Fact and you will believe everything I say because if it's on TV, it must be true.
Audio clips from various news reports are heard intermingled with each other. While Black and White are watching the news, the Watcher begins to change the pieces on the chess board, and placing all the captured pieces back on the board. As the news reports come to an end, the light returns to white.
Johnny: That's the propaganda today. Thank you, and good night.
The light fades. Black and White turn back to the chess board and catch the Watcher.
black: What in hell are you doing!
white: Get out of there!
Black and White rise, ready to physically attack the Watcher. The Watcher begins to pet and speak to them as one would a dog. During the Watchers lines, they calm down, sit back onto their seats and return their attention to the chess board.
Watcher: Tax cuts for the middle class. Read my lips, no new taxes. I'm a new Democrat. Contract with America. Balanced budget. It's time for a change. Take back your government. I'm the peoples choice. Let me represent you. Send a message to Washington. If the people want me to run, I will. I wouldn't give you two cents for this job. Health care. Social security. Welfare. Read my lips, I'm a new Democrat. I'm a new Democrat.
black: Who's move is it?
white: I don't recall. You go ahead and move.
black: No, you move friend.
white: No, please, you my friend. I insist.
black: Are you sure?
white: Positive.
black: Thank you friend.
white: Most welcome friend.
The Watcher pulls a small box from his robes and peers inside for a moment. Then, holding the box over the chess board prepares to dump the contents but freezes when white speaks.
white: Ya ever get the feeling that . . .
black: What?
White looks at the Watcher, but doesn't really see him - sees through him.
white: Nothing, must just be my imagination.
They go back to the game. Blackout.